Short Answer
If a spouse is persistently unfaithful and refuses to repent, the Bible allows divorce on the grounds of sexual immorality. Marriage is meant to be a faithful, exclusive covenant, and continual adultery breaks that covenant. In such cases, after seeking repentance and restoration, separation or divorce may become a necessary step.
The Overview
Marriage is designed by God to be a lifelong covenant where a husband and wife leave their families, unite together, and become “one flesh.” This relationship is meant to be marked by faithfulness, commitment, and exclusivity. Because of this sacred design, the Bible strongly discourages divorce and calls couples to pursue reconciliation whenever possible.
However, Scripture also recognizes that certain sins can seriously violate the marriage covenant. One of those situations is sexual immorality. In Matthew 19:9, Jesus teaches that divorce is permitted when a spouse commits sexual immorality. When a spouse repeatedly engages in unfaithful behavior and shows no genuine repentance, the covenant of marriage has already been deeply broken.
In such situations, the first step should always be confrontation, repentance, and restoration. A spouse who has been unfaithful should clearly turn away from the sinful behavior, demonstrate genuine repentance, and recommit to faithfulness in the marriage. True repentance must be visible and sincere, restoring trust and demonstrating a renewed commitment to the marriage relationship.
But if unfaithfulness continues and the spouse refuses to change, the faithful partner may have to make a difficult decision. Divorce is never ideal and can be emotionally painful, but in cases of persistent adultery without repentance, Scripture allows the innocent spouse to dissolve the marriage and move forward.
Key Takeaways
- Marriage Is a Covenant of Faithfulness
God designed marriage to be an exclusive, lifelong relationship between a husband and wife. - Divorce Is Not God’s Ideal
The Bible encourages reconciliation and restoration whenever possible. - Sexual Immorality Breaks the Marriage Covenant
Jesus teaches in Matthew 19 that sexual immorality is a legitimate biblical ground for divorce. - Repentance Should Be Sought First
The unfaithful spouse should be confronted and given the opportunity to repent and restore the relationship. - Persistent Unfaithfulness May Lead to Divorce
If the spouse refuses to change and continues in adultery, the innocent spouse may biblically choose to end the marriage.
The Source — The Speaker Transcript
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You’re on the air with Mike Fabarz. How can I help? How can I help? >> Yes. Hi, Pastor Mike. Can you hear me? Okay, >> I can hear you just fine. >> Okay. Yes, sir. I So, the question I had is kind of similar to the gentleman that called in uh before the previous lady that called in. >> Mhm. >> Uh concerning marriage. >> Okay. >> What what’s going on? >> Okay. So my question is before I had got married uh I was having this this feeling uh stirring up in my
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spirit and uh me and this woman had been off and on previous and uh she has children with two two different men and before we got married she had left to the state she’s from and I was having dreams I believe the Holy Ghost was giving me dreams and then it ended up coming to light after we got married that that she was talking to her child’s father as well as other men and I’m not sure what to do at this point. >> Okay. So, you’re still married to this gal Jeremy, right? >> Yes, sir. We just I just haven’t been
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living at home. I haven’t been living We haven’t been living together for the past. It’s been about six months now. Okay. And her conversation with these exes, is it romantic and amorous or or is it just about the children or something? >> Oh, yes, sir. It’s It’s uh So, she tried to have him pick her up from the airport and kind of sneak around, but I guess it fell through. >> Okay. But you confronted her on that? >> I pretty much. >> Yes, exactly. >> And did she deny it?
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>> Kind of hard. She tried to say that it was she tried to make uh excuses >> like to to cover it whenever she was caught. >> Okay. But but you’re pretty sure that this is uh not the first time, right? I mean, this is something that seems to be part of the pattern of her character. >> Yes. Yes, sir. Okay. >> Yes, sir. As well as whenever we’re separated, her and her child’s father were were engaged in relations. >> Okay. And uh yeah, I guess they had
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stopped and then me and her got back together and as like after we got married, all these things came to the light. >> Okay. Well, if there’s a continual unfaithfulness without repentance, right? That that’s why Jesus addresses in Matthew 19 the fact that marriage is supposed to be a commitment of leaving father and mother, cleaving to your spouse, being in a one flesh relationship, and staying that way. and what God has joined together, you shouldn’t separate. And they speak in
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this passage, they ask Jesus questions. And he says, you know, if you were to divorce your spouse, unless it was for sexual immorality and married another, that’d be bad. That would be like you just sleeping around. But it’s not when there is marital unfaithfulness and particularly the kind like you’re describing to me, Jeremy, with your wife who doesn’t seem to be interested in stopping any of this for the sake of her marriage with you. So, I think you lay down the law as it sounds like you may
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have already done and you say on the authority of Matthew 19:9, you’re going to dissolve this relationship and you’re going to have to move forward. Now, that complicates life in a lot of ways depending on, you know, how long you’ve been with her and all the rest. It’s not fun. It’s not good. Uh, but it may be necessary for a wife that’s not interested in being married to you in a singular devoted way. And in that sense, right, you’re just going to have to move forward with the the pain
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of an amputation because that’s really what divorce is. It’s an amputation of a relationship. It’s never supposed to be amputated. But in this case, Jesus says you’re allowed to do it because you got a wife who is unrepentant in her uh philandering and her her uh adultery. >> Yes, sir. >> And and that’s sad. And I would say I would do everything in your power to try and get her to repent and to stop and to be faithful to you and be under the same household without all of this other
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stuff going on with these other men. But if she’s not willing to do that, right, then you have you have you really don’t have much of a choice here other than to say if you’re not going to live as my wife, uh you’re going to have to live as my ex-wife because I don’t know what else to do. This is what marriage is supposed to be, not you living at another address and trying to make do with your life as as a married guy living in two different addresses. Oh yes, sir. >> So I I think you’re going to have to
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have one last conversation with her to make sure that she is not ready to make this completely right and her repentance over this needs to be as notorious as her sin. Even more so, she needs to be clear with you that this is never going to happen again and that you are completely uh that she she is completely devoted to you and that you are going to be able to have the access you need to be able to police her actions because of her past. So, that’s just going to have to happen. If she’s not willing to do
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that, well, then she’s not interested in changing her ways. And then of course I do think you’re going to have to look at Matthew 19 and say on the authority of Christ himself, I I’ve got to move forward because if you are designed to be married, then that’s what you’re going to have to be. And you’re going to have to find a wife that’s going to be faithful to you if you have an unfaithful wife. >> Yes, sir. Thank you so much, Pastor Mike. >> That’s hard. That’s hard. And and I bet
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just like I’ve said previously, there’s a lot of people praying for you listening to this program right now.
