Short Answer
Falling into sexual temptation in a relationship does not automatically mean you should end it. Instead, set clear boundaries, seek accountability, and commit to doing better moving forward.
The Overview
In a romantic relationship, especially one moving toward marriage, attraction and temptation are natural. The presence of temptation does not mean something is wrong with the relationship—it often indicates genuine affection. However, it does require responsibility and self-control.
If a couple crosses boundaries, the response should not be immediate abandonment of the relationship. Instead, it should lead to reflection and correction. This means clearly redefining what is appropriate, setting stricter limits, and intentionally avoiding situations that make temptation stronger.
Practical steps are important. Couples can limit time alone, meet in public settings, and involve trusted mentors or accountability partners. Creating the right environment helps support better decisions and strengthens commitment to honoring God in the relationship.
Ending the relationship should only be considered if there are deeper issues beyond temptation. Otherwise, the focus should be on growth, discipline, and maturity. Learning to handle temptation in a healthy way is part of preparing for a strong and lasting marriage.
Key Takeaways
- Temptation Is Normal
Attraction is part of a healthy relationship. - Failure Is Not the End
Mistakes can lead to growth, not separation. - Set Clear Boundaries
Define what is appropriate moving forward. - Create Safe Environments
Avoid situations that increase temptation. - Seek Accountability
Involve mentors or trusted believers. - Focus on Growth
Use the experience to build maturity and discipline.
Read Full Raw Transcript
[00:00:00 – 00:00:57] questions that were written in. This is another one. I’ll ask this one since uh Dr. Lee, you brought this up about um engagement. Here is someone who says, “When two Christians uh man and a woman, hate that we have to clarify that today when it comes to marriage, but yes, man and woman want to get uh married uh but before they get married, they they fall into temptation, sexual temptation. Is it the better is it better to depart from the friendship uh counting it as a learning experience
[00:00:28 – 00:01:22] uh or try to do better going forward? Yeah, Rashad here here’s what I would tell you. Um if there’s not temptation, you’re probably engaged to the wrong person or dating the wrong person. Uh because that’s really what this is. This isn’t a roommate situation. There needs to be a romantic feelings. There needs to be attraction and that needs to be um there needs to be strong. And so what you’re going to need is accountability. And if there’s a stumbling along the way, and by that I mean you you cross
[00:00:55 – 00:01:54] some lines that you don’t want to cross. I would say doesn’t mean you have to trash the relationship, but I would say you re um clarify the lines of of of what is proper in affection before you’re married and you say, “We’re going to uh going to work on this. We’re going to work on this in a way that we’re going to try to conquer this.” And that may mean that we are alone in a crowd. you know, all of our alone time is, you know, at a a booth at Denny’s, and I
[00:01:25 – 00:02:10] doubt you’re going to cross too many lines there, although [snorts] these days, who knows? But I would tell you that there are ways for you to prevent the kinds of things that you fear, or if you have gone uh across some lines. I’m just telling you, it doesn’t mean you need to trash the relationship. It does mean you need to do better and you need to seek the kind of accountability and the kind of context that’s going to help you be strong in that. Uh but no, I wouldn’t just chalk it up as a learning
[00:01:48 – 00:02:21] experience and depart from the friendship. Uh there’s got to be other reasons if you’re going to do that. And there may be some other reasons and sometimes I find people ask questions like that and they don’t bring up the other reasons. But if there’s more to that, Rashad, give me a call and let’s talk about it.
