Short Answer
If a spouse abandons the marriage, a believer is free—not only to separate but also to remarry, as long as it is “in the Lord.” While singleness is encouraged, it is not required in such situations.
The Overview
In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul presents a strong preference for singleness, emphasizing its advantages for serving God without distraction. However, he also acknowledges that most people desire marriage and are not called to remain single. This balance is important—singleness is ideal for some, but not a universal requirement.
When it comes to divorce, especially in cases of abandonment, Paul provides guidance. If an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave and refuses reconciliation, the believer is “not bound” in that situation. This means they are released from the marital obligation and called to live in peace rather than remain in a state of conflict or uncertainty.
The question of remarriage is where interpretations differ, but a strong case is made that freedom from the marriage includes the freedom to remarry. This is supported by later verses in the chapter, which state that a person is free to marry again—provided it is done “in the Lord,” meaning with another believer.
Even so, the preference for singleness remains present throughout the passage. If a person can remain single and content, that is seen as beneficial. But if not, remarriage is permitted. The key is understanding both the freedom given by Scripture and the wisdom of choosing what best supports one’s spiritual life and calling.
Key Takeaways
- Singleness Is Preferred, Not Required
It allows undivided focus on serving God. - Abandonment Releases the Believer
They are no longer bound in the marriage. - Freedom Includes Remarriage
If permitted, it should be “in the Lord.” - Peace Is the Goal
God calls believers to live in peace, not conflict. - Desire for Marriage Is Recognized
Most people are not called to lifelong singleness. - Wisdom Is Needed
Each situation should be approached thoughtfully and biblically.
Transcript
[00:00:00 – 00:01:16] Jeremiah, you’re on the line with Pastor Mike. How can I help? >> Hi, Pastor Mike. Um, I really appreciate your solid biblical guidance. And, um, my question is, I was reading a like a biblical theology book about marriage in the New Testament. And in first Corinthians chapter 7, um, verse 11, it says to remain unmarried. And then in verse 15 of that same chapter, it permits to let go. So the the author is advocating he’s like tying verse 15 back to 11 saying you can you’re free to go but you’re not free to
[00:00:38 – 00:01:40] remarry >> right well the the underlying concern of the Apostle Paul a lot like Jesus is if you can do without marriage you should do without marriage because certainly if you’re a Christian the kingdom priority is to serve the Lord wholeheartedly and he warns once you get married you got a lot of domestic uh anchors that tie you down to things that may take you away from or distract you from your kingly uh kingdom mission. So, I mean, clearly everything’s leaning in the direction of
[00:01:09 – 00:02:04] Paul’s testimony that it’d be better for you to be single if you can be, but it starts with the concession that most people can’t be, right? We most of us desire romance and and and and intimacy and therefore we’re going to want to get married. And he’s giving the guidelines here, particularly to people in this section about who who want to be divorced. So, it’s not an unusual interpretation to say, “Yeah, even if you do divorce in this situation, uh, if it’s an abandonment that you shouldn’t
[00:01:36 – 00:02:32] get remarried, but what I’m going to go to is the bottom of the passage when he speaks about freedom.” It talks about being free and and you’re free in the situation where you you should let him go. And in that situation, he says, “I’m calling for for peace.” And because of that, at the end of this text when it speaks of that, it talks about getting remarried and it uses the same kind of theme, right? It says, “Yeah, you can remarry, but only in the Lord.” And
[00:02:04 – 00:02:55] because of the way it’s put there in verse 39, I think you, yeah, you could go back from 15 and go back up to 11. You can say, “Yeah, but it seems like even though the preference is singleness and remaining single, uh the the idea is if it’s a biblical allowance, which was if you have a unbelieving spouse that doesn’t want to live with you, let him go. You’re free in that situation. God’s called us to peace.” Well, what kind of peace? Well, can you be at peace single?
[00:02:29 – 00:03:26] Well, then great. Stay single. But if you can’t, let’s go back up to verse one and then bounce down to verse 39. I can’t because I have desires. Well, then verse 39 says, right, uh, you’re free to remarry. But just like if your husband were to die, but only in the Lord, whoever she wishes, but only in the Lord. So marry a Christian, which gets back to the whole concern about being married to a non-Christian. I just think that’s a stronger tie even though I know the underlying preference like Jesus,
[00:02:58 – 00:03:45] like Paul, uh like many in church history, stay single if you can. And Jesus made that point when they talked about you can’t get divorced. Jesus teaches that. and they say, “Well, if that’s the way it’s supposed to be, you know, you should maybe we should never get married.” And Jesus says, “Yeah, if you can accept this statement, accept it. There are Unix for the sake of the kingdom. There are unics made by men.” Uh, but you know, if you can accept these words, accept them. So, I’m always
[00:03:22 – 00:04:07] going to say, “Yeah, always expect the Apostle Paul to keep reminding us of the advantage of singleness.” But when it comes to a spouse that says, “I don’t want to live with you. You’re a Christian.” and and and he will not stay together. Even though your passion should be to stay together, not just your passion, your commitment, your resolve. It’s a covenant. But if he says, “No, I’m out of here.” The Bible says, “Let him go. You’ve just been
[00:03:44 – 00:04:42] abandoned by your spouse.” Of course, it’d be great if you could stay single, but you know, he’s not called us uh he’s called us to peace. And that kind of peace is described with the word free in verse 39. Uh just like if your husband’s dead, remarry, whoever you want, but it’s got to be a Christian. And yet even the the rejoinder in verse 40, yet in my judgment, she’s happier if she remains as she is. So yeah, the the the thread of pro-s singleness in that passage uh
[00:04:13 – 00:05:08] is so strong that the early church unfortunately conflated godliness with singleness. And that became a problem in the first, I don’t know, 200 years of the church, 300 years of the church. They taught this to an extreme. So much so that they didn’t even want by the time we got to the formation of the Roman Catholic Church uh and the rules that started to apply that be that went beyond scripture that you couldn’t be a pastor then or a priest as they called them unless you were celibate and and
[00:04:41 – 00:05:42] weren’t interested in marriage. They started to equate a non-interest in intimacy or romance with godliness which was a huge mistake. But we understand where it comes from because Paul’s making such a big case for singleness. I do believe you are free to remarry uh anyone you want only in the Lord uh if you are in the position at the beginning of the chapter I have romantic desires and they’re strong better to marry than to burn. My spouse has abandoned me because they’re they’re maybe a
[00:05:11 – 00:06:00] Christian in word only but they’re not really a Christian. They don’t want to live a Christian life. They’re not going to be with me. I’ve tried everything I can to keep my spouse here. Now they left. You can remarry. I’m going to go to the bottom of the passage and say I think this is the whole theme of freedom, right? Free to be remarried. And I think you are you’re freed from that relationship if your unbelieving spouse abandons you. And I know that’s not, you know, not everyone agrees with
[00:05:35 – 00:06:22] that, but I I do think plenty of evangelical scholars do. And that’s my take, even though some theologies may disagree. Did I hit the nail on the head of the question, Jeremiah, or did I miss something in your question? >> Yeah. Yeah, you did. You did. You did great again as always. Yes. So, we really appreciate your your wisdom and and sharing it with us. So, we appreciate your leadership. >> Great, Jeremiah. Appreciate that. Let people know about the show.
Question Variations:
Should Christians Remarry After an Affair?
Should Christians Remarry After Divorce?
